To Do or Not To Do Chores

Lately, I have been having discussions with several people about the concept of responsibility and chores. Whether to assign them or not. I do believe there is a difference between being responsible for your own space and doing household chores. I know that my aunt way back when had a chore chart and each of her four children had a job to do. We on the other hand did not have such a chart. However, we were always very responsible and took care of our own space. In addition, I was always motivated to do some form of cleaning or organizing or painting of my room. I even did laundry and cleaned the garage where my father kept all his stuff. Which brings me back to whether we should be assigning chores to our children. I feel it depends on the dynamics and needs of each family. However, I also think we need to consider the child’s natural instincts and social emotional needs. Some young children do not necessarily have a natural instinct to clean and organize but that does not mean that later on in life when on their own they won’t develop those skills. My advice is three-fold: one, to consider the age of your child and what tasks are appropriate for that age; two, to consider the natural instincts and behaviors and what is reasonable for them to do; the third, to consider the ability. I would not expect a 5-year-old to clean the windows, but you could ask that 5-year-old to pick up all the red objects and put them in a bin.  If you have an older child, say 11 years old, you might expect them to set the table or fold some of the laundry. Older children might be working outside the house, so you might have them keep their room tidy, maintain a schedule, and help with meal preparation. However, you might have to put some accommodation in place to make it easier for them to accomplish this. For instance, color coded baskets for clean and dirty clothes, a calendar, a clock. Keep in mind that socialization and just time to play is crucial for growth and development and there should be opportunities for that as well.